Blame

I’m sorry for what I’ve done

I’ve ruined us

I’m fully aware

I made myself the victim

Acted like I was innocent

I didn’t mean to

It was a mistake, careless

In the future

You won’t have to deal with this

I’ll change

I promise you, I will

What I really want to say is

You deserve better

Better than I could give

I understand,

You want to leave

I don’t blame you

I haven’t made it easy

Not for you

Not for me

Not for us

But I can change

Can you give me a chance?

   Anxiety

My heart is beating

The feeling is unknown

I’ve never known what it could be

I feel like an alien

Out of this world

But I’ve been here before

I’ve done this before

So, what is it that I’m feeling?

And why

I walk into an empty room

Already,

not ready to speak out loud

My heart beats rapidly

I’m enjoying the class discussion

I’d like to speak out, but my voice is trapped

It can’t get out and the gate won’t open

My voice is stuck,

in the well locked jail cell

That I’ve created for it

Don’t say anything

Don’t make yourself look stupid

As a coping mechanism,

My leg shakes

The doctors label its anxiety

I’m overreacting